


Exactly Where I Need to Be

by hollandmarie



Series: While You Were Sleeping [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/M, Family, Fluff, i'm a sucker for baby fics okay, it's a baby fic guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 17:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7943803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hollandmarie/pseuds/hollandmarie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She'd never given thought to having a family of her own. She knew the life her father led- the way her family lived because of it. Being an apostate was a lonely life, although still more of a life than of those in the Circle. </p><p>But things changed after the Fade.</p><p> </p><p>AKA Diplomatic Marian Hawke is the maternal type and maybe it wouldn't be so bad if she had a family of her own</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exactly Where I Need to Be

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the first in a series of extremely self-indulgent works chronicling these two starting a family. Because I am weak.

Marian's life had never been her own. She was the eldest, and always felt it was her job to watch over Carver and Bethany, defend them from schoolyard taunts and the monsters under the bed. Later, when their father passed, it fell to Marian to actually care for them, as well as for Mother.

 

Then the Blight came, and it was Marian who had to get them out of Lothering, find a way into Kirkwall, reclaim the family name and honor.

 

She never complained. She figured this was her lot in life. She was meant to take care of others. And so she did.

 

Having a whole city to protect was... unexpected, she'll admit. Standing against the Templars and starting a war? Unbelievable. Nearly dying to protect the Inquisitor in the Fade? That's where she drew the line. The second she got home, it was time to put herself first, for once in her life.

 

She'd never given thought to having a family of her own. She knew the life her father led- the way her family lived because of it. Being an apostate was a lonely life, although still more of a life than of those in the Circle.

 

Being with Fenris for all those years had brought up the question once or twice, but neither of them really cared to give it much thought. They were on the run, from the Templars, from Slavers, from the fucking Divine herself. It wasn't exactly the best situation to bring a child up in.

 

And then the Conclave happened, and then the Fade, and suddenly there's a new Divine and she's changing things. She does away with the Circles, lets mages govern themselves. She allows them to live their lives as free as the rest of Thedas.

 

When Marian finally finds her way back to Fenris, she doesn't know what to think. She'd been lost in the Fade for so long, only to come back to a world full of changes. She finds herself a free woman for the first time in her life.

 

She allows herself to consider having a family.

 

They never truly sit down and discuss it, never say they're actually going to try. It comes up a few times in conversation, and for the first time, they don't shoot down the idea. Then one morning, when Marian was talking about her late sister, she jokes that they should name their firstborn after her. And Fenris smiles, truly smiles, and agrees.

 

Still, they don't ever come out and say they're going to try. They just... Stop trying to prevent it. Marian would rather die than admit, but it actually turned her on to think about it. The thought of having a child, Fenris' child, fueled her already rather strong desire for her partner.

 

In short, it didn't take long for her to start showing symptoms. Nausea, headaches, fatigue. She wasn't an idiot, she knew the signs. Still, she waited for it to pass, didn't want to jump to any conclusions. But when her monthly didn't show, she knew, and started planning out how to tell Fenris.

 

But, of course, that didn't go as planned.

 

“You're with child.” He stated as she climbed into bed one night, not even looking up from the book he was reading.

 

Marian sputtered in shock. “How did you find out?”

 

“You've been acting... Strangely.”

 

She sighed, disappointed to have been found out. “Was it that obvious?”

 

He chuckled, setting down his book and wrapping his arms around her. “Only because I know you well.”

 

Marian relaxed somewhat in his embrace. “I wasn't sure how to tell you. I know we haven't really talked about it, but I thought...” She drifted off, unsure how to word this. She had seemed so sure until now.

 

Fenris held her tighter, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I'm happy. Truly.”

 

She let out the breath she had been holding. “We don't have to name her Bethany, if you don't want to. Or if it's a boy, obviously, that really wouldn't work..” She laughed. “I mean, you didn't even know my sister, and this is your child too, you deserve a say in its name.”  
  


He smiled as she rambled, his eyes soft. “I think Bethany is a fine name. As for a boy... I'm sure we'll think of something. We have plenty of time, after all.” His hand drifted from its place on her hip to rest gently on her still flat belly. She put her hand over his, a small smile growing on her lips.

 

“Are you sure this is what you want?” She asked, tentatively. She wasn't sure what made her feel so _unsure_. She knew Fenris, knew this is what they wanted. She knew this is what was right for them. But she had to be sure.

 

“A family of my own? With the woman I love?” He smirked, looking her in the eyes. “There's nothing I would like more.”

 

 

As she drifted off to sleep that night, she thought of her life to that point. Never her own, always relied on by someone. It had always felt like a cage, a duty she couldn't shirk.

 

But she knew already that this life growing inside her was not a burden, or something she would grow to resent. This was not a duty, but a choice. This was a gift, and she would defend it. No matter what.

 


End file.
